


Burning House

by All_out_of_love_and_pizza



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, Harry Potter Fic, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Sirius PoV, Trigger Warning for depression, after the potters death, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 01:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15831036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_out_of_love_and_pizza/pseuds/All_out_of_love_and_pizza
Summary: A one shot of after the Potters have died. Sirius in Azkaban. Based off this tumblr post https://uwillneverknowwho.tumblr.com/post/177484880070/okay-listen-listen-this-is-important





	Burning House

**Author's Note:**

> I’m on tumblr as Awakebyawindow!

Flash.  
Green light fills my mind, voices cry out and those voice are everything I’ve held dear but I’m frozen. I can’t reach out to them. I see the tall man with his usually unruly hair, and in his glasses I see HIM. His eyes are as cold as the snow outside and he reaches his pale arm out, hand extended toward my brother in everything but name, and he utters words that chill my being but still I cannot move.  
Flash.  
Green light fills my mind, and only one voice cries out this time. “Not Harry! Please!”  
And I see everything about her face. The terror, the despair, the determination, and the love for the child behind her. But still I cannot move as once again the arm reaches out and I know what’s coming. I know. And I cannot move but tears stream down my face and my soul is screaming but I cannot move.  
Flash. 

I come back to myself and I’m shivering on a floor so dark and so cold. My body shakes with sobs and I spit out blood from where I bit through my lip. I turn my head to the dark hooded figure beside me.  
“Just leave me alone. Please. I didn’t even see any of that, how are you...” but I can’t speak anymore. Everything is so heavy. 

Flash. I’m laying beside James on the floor. His glasses are crooked. And I want more than anything for him to move, to straighten them and to grabs my shoulders and shake me out of this nightmare and smile at me.  
But he remains motionless, cold and so far from me. I can move now, and I press my head to his chest. 

 

I had a dream about a burning house.

“I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry.”

You were stuck inside, I couldn’t get you out. 

My sobs turn unintelligible and I grip James shirt and just beg. “Please don’t leave me here. Please.”

I lay beside you and pulled you close

“I can’t do this without you, mate. I can’t find my way, you know me.” I laugh half hysterically. “Always gettin’ lost without you, you know that.”

And the two of us went up in smoke. 

And then James is floating away in tendrils of smoke as the scene around me changes and Remus is in front of me. 

“Remus! Remus, thank god. James is dead! I can’t! James is—!” I stumble towards him and go to embrace him and I press his lips to mine and he holds me and finally, there is that warmth that my body was lacking.  
And then it goes cold again, and he shoves me away. “Moony?”

Love isn’t all that it seems. 

His eyes are so cold, colder than James, and those warm lips are pulled into a hateful grimace. 

I did you wrong. 

“Don’t touch me, freak. You killed James and Lily. You killed them.”

I stumble back. “What? No, Voldemort, he—“

“It was your fault. Everything has always been your fault. Your own family can’t even love you, so how could anyone else? How could anyone look at you and find anything worthy?”

No. Too cold. Not my Moony. He would never say these things. 

He laughs as I shake my head. “Look at you, too cowardly to accept the truth even now.”

And he fades away, further and further from me and all I can see is those cold eyes. 

But I can still feel his arms around me and I can feel their warmth and what I just saw was not real. It’s the dementors. Not my Moony. 

I’ll stay here with you, until this dream is gone. 

I hold onto it and the air around me fades and Lilly is on the ground, and her hair is spread around her but it’s not alive anymore. She’s not alive anymore. So how am I supposed to be? 

I been sleepwalking, been wandering all night. 

I kneel next to her and gather her hair up and move it off her face. But now I can see her eyes, that bright green just staring at me but not alive. Not warm. Not Lilly. 

Trying to take what’s lost and broke and make it right. 

I look at her until her face fades away, but the scene is the same. I look up. 

“Harry!”

And there he is, standing stock still, staring at the place where his mother was, and big tears are pouring down his face but his face is too small and it looks so wrong and I can feel my heart twisting in my chest.  
I run to him and wrap my arms around him and he’s the only warm thing I’ve ever felt in that moment. “Oh, Harry, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Too close to the fire, but it’s the only place where I can hold you tight. 

And I hold him until he fades too and I’m on the stone floor again and everything in my is dark but I can still feel Harry in my arms. I can still feel him.


End file.
